Dave Naylor - SE Ops

So I’m sat in a bar at a Conference, drinking a few beers and a Guy walks up to me a says “are you DaveN ?”, so I reply “yep that’s me pull up a chair”

No sooner than the guy sits down he says “Do you do Viagra?”,

at little taken aback I say “YES, but for only one company”,

Him : But you do Viagra?

Me : Yes I do Viagra, why?

Him : Well we ship in the US

ME : for Viagra I only work for 1 company

Him : But if you do Viagra, why not do my Viagra?

ME (getting a little annoyed) I only do Genuine Viagra for people I trust

Him : You can trust me my Viagra is Genuine Viagra

ME : seriously I only do Viagra in the UK

Him : well if you change your mind, find me ..

Me : Ok ..

A few more beers and a poker game later I’m telling the story to a friend and the guy walks over to him and says “Do you do Viagra? ”, my friend laughs and says “NO!! Dave does though” hahaha.. I’m like, dude .. that’s the guy that was Pestering me .. So my friend says “Maybe you just look like a guy that TAKES Viagra!!”, we laughed, we drank more and I head off to bed .. the next morning I wake up and my phone in my room is flashing .. It’s the front desk.. saying that a package was waiting from me, Now I knew that a friend was leaving me a T-shirt so I thought nothing about it … I head off for breakfast and stop off at the front desk, “Hi it’s Dave Naylor, room 1434, you have a package for me” The young lady looks at me, smiles and walks off to another young lady, they chat both look over at me and pull out a package … its only 4 x 100mg Viagra Tablets.. I’m like “No, mine’s a T-shirt” … the girl just smiles and says SURE!
So the Moral of the story is if someone says do you do Viagra, Just SAY NO !!
At least my wife found it funny when I got home .. BTW I still have the Viagra IF anyone does VIAGRA !! lol

DaveN

Ok … At New York SES at the end of Feb 2006, Greg Boser (Monkey Boy AKA Chicken Boy) and Me (DaveN the Beer Machine) were supposed to have had a Vodka Competition. Well where do I start…. in a little Irish Bar in NYC, I sat with Matt Cutts and Greg chatting about the Search, Life and Vodka, So I started to bait Greg a little .. he was still adamant that he could beat ME.. HAHAHAHAHA

Let’s go back in time … in Orlando 2004, PubCon in the crappiest hotel ( Motel ) I have ever stayed in, me and Greg actually went toe to toe.. (yes we did ) .. but then there was two major happenings that evening, the first was I got chatting to a young lady .. lol ( 2Much ) about SEO, and Boser sneaked .. YES sneaked into the lead by having a quick beer without telling me… actually I never saw him get the extra Beer but I will say one thing Greg is honest so I never questioned this and still don’t today .. Anyway the night went on and the beer flowed one by one toe to toe .. Me and Greg couldn’t by separated .. then disaster struck the frickin bar closed .. ( lucky call for Boser, as he was wrecked and really pissed). If you ever see Greg really pissed, he walks in a very straight CURVE.. so as Greg curved off … I was still calling foul… there had to be more beer … I ran to the Fountain .. ( yes fountain ) jumped on the side .. to start shouting yet again … and then a beam of light fell from the sky hitting the fountain I was stood on …Holy Shit someone had left a six pack of Beer in the water … it was a sign … a Really good sign in fact, so like a gazelle I leapt off the side of the fountain and grabbed the beer and shouted “Gregggggg I found Beeeerrrrrrrr” .. but Greg to my surprise just waved and curved into a wall then a pillar and another wall, knocked into the Golf cart that had been crashed into another pillar earlier that evening, and disappeared .. wow he was drunk .. hehehe ..  well I didn’t have to share the Beer I guessed so I drank that and went to bed … for 12 minutes… then got up showered and did my presentation … Greg slept till 1.30pm the next afternoon.

Back to almost the future … SES Chicago, December 2005.. Greg brought up the drinking Competition again like how he won … grrrrrrrrrrrrrreg  .. anyway the upshot was that we would go toe to toe again .. Maybe later that week or at the Next conference in NYC.. speaking gigs come first these days .. ( way to go Danny, He’s like mine and Gregs Dad .. joke ) so NYC it was.

Back to the Irish Bar … So we are telling Matt all about the Competition and How Dax is going to be the judge etc etc .. GoodRoi said tomorrow, I said Yes, Greg said Yes .. Matt said I want to be judge .. but lets make it interesting .. the loser has to give up a site .. WOW so me and Greg have a quick Vodka … Matt shouts “Quoff it” .. ( He is so English these days lol ) (Quoff means Drink , Fancy going t’pub and quoffing some ale?) So I down mine, Greg starts Bitching about that’s not how you drink Vodka … you do in the UK hehe, so off we go back to the Hotel, GoodROI says tomorrow, I say yes, Matt says yes .. Greg Curved into a closed door, then a wall which we all took as a yes.. we get to the lifts and Matt is on  floor 18, Greg on 22, I was on the 18000 floor or something like that, so we all three get into the lift … Now in the Hilton NYC there are two sets of lifts, one that stopped at mine and Matts floor, the other that Greg should have got into .. hehe .. after stopping at Matts floor, me and Greg continue our journey .. we get to the top and Greg now looking out of just one eye.. (never a good sign) says “I‘ll go back to the Lobby and get the right elevator”, that stopped me in my tracks .. I turned quickly, jumped back inside and press every button, smile and leave Greg stood in the bright red glow of every elevator button smiling back at him ..:)

The next Day I get up, go for breakfast and see GoodROI, with YES 2 bottles of Vodka, he says still on for later, and I’m like hell yer !! but where is Greg.. I mean it’s like 8:30 in the morning, he should be up.. by now.. but NO NO NO Greg gets up at 3:30pm ish hehehe with a head like a truck had run over… and then decided to avoid GoodROI and The Vodka all Day and night … In fact Greg couldn’t face me in a Vodka Toe to Toe.. so what next Greggy Baby ..  A Tea and Biscuit Competition ??

DaveN